journal for the self-obsessed generation


Das Kapital

Last night I was lying in bed thinking about writing an email. (That fact in itself probably has profound implications for my social life, but it's not what I wanted to write about today.)

That started me wondering how I used to sign emails before I adopted my current style. At the moment I type two hypens (or are they en-dashes? Now there's an issue that hasn't come up) and then my name, in lower case. There's no signature file and nothing is automatic. I've used this for quite some time. Before that, it's hard to remember, but I think I used a simple capitalised "Sam".

And then, out of the blue I found mys'elf thinking: the lower-case sam isn't the real me. That person uses a capital letter. In lower-case I'm hiding behind an imagined, created persona. It's yet another small weakness that may eventually contribute to my death by a thousand weaknesses. I should stop it, be honest with the world, and go back to "Sam".

I don't know why that came to me so quickly. It just did. Is it true? Perhaps, but after a little thought, I decided it wasn't. Probably. (Or to be more honest, I actually decided not to think about it, because I like the lower-case sam, whether or not it's me.)

Just as names are an important part of our intellectual and emotional capitalisation, so capitalisation is an important part of, well, our names.

Or, and more likely, perhaps it's just me.